Where does the ego go to rest?

There are many ways that we communicate with our fellow humans. One of the ways is with our words. There are many ways that our words come into being, and one of the common ways is through our ego. Our ego is like a small child that needs much attention and loving care, even in the midst of the most demanding situations. We are often guided by very great spiritual leaders to let go of our egos, which is a nice exercise but one of futility. For our egos have an important role to play in our lives. It’s just not the role that we often think. The unconscious role of our ego is to be the big leader of our path. First we do not know that our egos are guiding us, and then when we learn of this part of ourselves, we may think about it like a piece of gum stuck to our shoes that we have to scrape off and do away with once and for all. This doesn’t exactly work. When we start to expand our consciousness further, we sometimes think that we’ve left our egos behind and then we transfer all of the same unconscious principles to a new ‘spiritual ego’ that does the same judging, raging and tantruming, just under the guise of spiritual enlightenment. This is like a kid pretending to be an adult and still ordering everyone around.

A gentler approach, and one more realistic, is to consider your ego like a small child that has been hurt and needs your loving leadership to guide it out of rage and sorrow. It is your child, and your responsibility to lead them into feeling safe so that the hurts and fears do not rule them any longer. This is a long process that may take an entire lifetime, just like when one has children you are still a parent even when your children are grown up.

Your ego only wants to be loved and heard and understood by you. It doesn’t know how to lead, and so it tries and tries with big and subtle ways.

The most compassionate and sometimes most challenging way to calm an ego out of control is to welcome it into your heart, into the innermost chamber of your loving heart, where it can rest and feel the boundaries of safety. There are many practices to taking this step, and however you choose to approach this is up to you. Only you have the power to offer unconditional loving support and safety to your ego, because your ego’s hurts and fears arise from your journey.

There is another leader inside of you, and this leader is the silent partner in the parts of you that make you whole. Some call it the Higher Self. The Higher Self sees what the ego is doing, without judgment, and waits until called upon to take the seat as the benevolent leader of your life’s journey.

Again, there are many ways to start to access and communicate with this part of you, this loving leader that speaks only truth from your heart.

One goal of mine is to start to pause before speaking and notice if it is my Higher Self communicating with my fellow humans, or my ego. This can be a challenge at first, with many outbursts and rages coming from the one that wishes to always speak first (the ego). But slowly, gently, with kindness, the ego will rest and relax and let your Higher Self take the lead with reverence and understanding once the relationship of trust has been established.

Trust that you may lead from this higher place of understanding and truth. Trust that your ego always has a place to rest and gain confidence in giving benevolent power to your Higher Self. Trust that you have the power to do so. And trust that your loving heart has the capacity to welcome in your ego once you allow it to be so.